bash.org

[rachel]

www.bash.org/?top
funniest things ever written.


<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~[e-mail]) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f**kers)
<anamexis> :<

my point.

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can f**k?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller..



<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad



<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> girl thingy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> girl thingy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> girl thingy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> girl thingy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^



<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

alright. im done...for now...theres lots more than the top ones but, those are the best for a reason.

[R.Jay]

Those are so funny! Dont know how you found that site but its awesome! Heres a couple that had me in stitches

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances -<
* nmp3bot dances |-<
* nmp3bot dances /-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a f**ken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

[rachel]

lol my dad showed it to me a while ago and i was going through either old emails or sites i saved and found it and re-read them all and died. some are so funny.

[R.Jay]

im gonna have to look through the site some more, I still keep laughing to myself at the one about the bishop, people must think im so weird

[rachel]

lol. ha people think your wierd? im the one who takes a roll of duct tape to school to play with when bored...and sharpies....

[R.Jay]

do I dare ask what you would be doing with a roll of duct tape? ;D

[Kirsty]

rjay said:

do I dare ask what you would be doing with a roll of duct tape? ;D

best make that 'dare we?'!

[rachel]

well...i color it...tape it to myself...make braceletts and the original reason on the first day was to keep my mouth shut but since no one really talked to me it wasnt that much of a problem...and i just love ducttape!!! i got the original grayish shiny type, silver silver, lime green, red, had orange for a day but it got stolen by my friends sister and i have this otehr weird tape thats bright orange that my sister got me...

[R.Jay]

wow, your the first person ive ever met who has a duct tape fetish haha

colouring it, making bracelets, taping your mouth all make sense to me, I wanna ask how or where you tape it to yourself but I dont wanna sound like im asking for a rude answer haha

[rachel]

i just put a peice around my wrist cuz i got bored. i dont even know why lol.

[R.Jay]

it must be addictive or maybe it just looks good?

i dont think it would be much fun for me to put it around my wrists, well not the taking it off part anyway haha

[rachel]

haha yeah it hurt a but but one was after soccer practice so it was wet and the other i think i showered with it...so it wasnt as sticky.